hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
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