he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
