We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
