You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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