Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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