I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize