Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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