So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
He passed out mid-signature
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
