why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
