Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
