I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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