what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
tell me about the fingering
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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