How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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