Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
