What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
