my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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