i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
