He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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