When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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