he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
