and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize