she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
