I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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