Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
