No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
