hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
