Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
literally had 100 drinks last night.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize