Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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