You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize