Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
then he tried to convert me to islam
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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