You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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