I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
