If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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