The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
