just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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