Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
