So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize