Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
