I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
