That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
