It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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