I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Just invented taco cereal.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
