I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
