I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
