You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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