have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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