What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
The air was thick with penises
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize