we have pet lesbian snakes
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
