Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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