Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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