): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
