idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
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