i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
