he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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