I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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