don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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