Too much gin, very little bucket
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
