That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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